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Jul 26 2011

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“All I got in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break either of ’em for nobody!”

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Surprise!!

To my regular readers, I’m sure you immediately noticed the change in the layout of the blog.  You can blame yesterdays post on that.  It was a really image intensive post and pretty much nothing I did with it made me happy as far as the layout of the pics, and the fact that the larger pics got cut off on the sides pissed me off.  I needed something that had a wider content space.  I got an email from WordPress not long ago about one of their “new” themes and it caught my eye.  This would be it.  The more I look at it, the more I like it better.

The header image, well, that is still up in the air.  I’ll come to a permanent decision on that pretty much never.  This is why I made it through the Marine Corps and 42 years of life without ever getting a tattoo.  I can’t make a decision on anything I want that’s permanent, and this blog is young, so I foresee many changes coming in the future.

The only thing that won’t change (Teri!) is the content.  I will continue to be fucked up.  That’s just how I roll.

The other reason tonight is going to be short is that it’s late and eventually me and Ambien are gonna get together and go to sleep.  I’m starting late tonight because I was having some quality time with Tiger.

Tiger is my 16 year old son previously introduced as “Duh”.  Some have complained that “Duh” was just mean and offensive. Those that complained clearly have never had teenagers.

So Tiger it is.  As in “Tony the”.

Speaking of Tony, quality time with Tiger tonight consisted of watching Scarface.  I figure he’s old enough at this point so over the last couple of weeks we’ve kind of had an Al Pacino marathon.  We’ve watched all 3 Godfathers and Scarface now.  His life is forever changed and he has me to thank for it.  I have given him American culture and classic films.  I have given him organized crime and illegal drug management.  Now he gets it when I get irritated with him and I grab him by the head and say “You broke my heart . . . you broke my HEART!”

You’re welcome, Duh Fredo Tiger.

I’d also just like to take this heartwarming moment to say to my friend Tom:  16 years and some months from now, you too can watch the best of Al Pacino with your son.  As soon as YOU see them!  How in the fuck do you make it past the age of 30 without seeing these movies?  I’ve met your mother, so I know you weren’t raised by wolves.  Get with the program, Zippy.

Stop back in tomorrow for more of the funny, but as long as you’re here, please leave me some comments and let me know what you think of the new layout.  I’m calling it for the night (ie: taking an Ambien and looking to see what twisted Tweets TheBloggess posts in her delirious insomnia soaked evening.  She’s been torturing the cat this week.  No, that is not as dirty as you just made it, you fuckin’ pervs.

Tony: “Me, I wan whas comin’ to me.”  Manny:  “Oh yeah, was comin’ to you”?  Tony:  “Da world, Chico . . .and everyting in it”.

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Facebook post of the day:

No, it’s not funny, but today is the day. Good luck, Dee and we all know you’re gonna make that bar exam your BITCH! Love ya!

Permanent link to this article: http://www.opticynicism.com/2011/07/all-i-got-in-this-world-is-my-balls-and-my-word-and-i-dont-break-either-of-em-for-nobody/

7 comments

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  1. JAJ

    nice layout. not as hard on the eyes

  2. Joe

    Good luck to your friend Deanna. I like the layout too. Funny thing. I made it to 48 without a tattoo, then this year, I got three.

    1. opticynicism

      I still want a tattoo, just can’t make up the mind. I’m a Scorpio and have considered a scorpion for a long time and now some chowderhead wants to go and fuck with the signs and get all Battlestar Galactica and add a 13th astrological sign and screw with my juju.

      I’m gonna find that dude and sting him with my big scary stinger tail.

  3. Zippy

    I haven’t seen those movies because I have like 40 at home that still haven’t been watched. So I promise, when I get all caught up, ill catch those movies. :p
    Something tells me your facebook post of the day had much more funny in it than your showing us. 🙂
    Also, I like the style that Opticynicism is in, and I do like the new layout. So you have my permission to leave it as is. 😀

    1. opticynicism

      Those 4 movies come before all others. THEN you can watch the other 40.
      Thanks for your permission. Now you may shove your permission.
      and yes, there was quite a bit more funny in the FB post of the day, but also way more personal information thrown around than I am willing to display on a public blog.

      I have standards, Fucktard.

  4. plong76

    I like the new layout also. Has Zippy ever seen Goonies or Big Trouble in Little China? Cause if not we have some serious issues!

  5. Zippy

    Goonies, Yes. Big trouble, No.
    Since I said yes to one, we cant have that serious of issues. :p

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