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Jul 20 2011

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Top 20 Tuesday for July 19th, 2011: That’s not funny, sir!

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After getting some great feedback on my last post giving you a brief glimpse into my military experience, I thought I’d expand on the flight aspect of the time for this weeks Top 20 list.  I appreciate all the great comments and all of you that are spreading the love around!

So lemme skip the windbagging and get right to it.  For your twisted pleasure here is:

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

The Top 20 Things You Never Want To Hear Your Pilots Say

  1. “I’ve just been so depressed lately.”
  2. *holds his head*  “Man, I can NOT drink like I used to.”
  3. “I wonder what this does?”
  4. “Damn!  We’ve been flying with that thing on for an hour!  It’s a wonder we’re even alive.”
  5. “Don’t you worry.  One way or another, we’re GONNA land!”
  6. “Didn’t we just pass that mountain an hour ago?”
  7. “Awww fuck!  Not clouds!  I hate clouds!”
  8. Pilot:  “Why do I only see 16 Marines on here, Corporal?  We’re supposed to have 18!”
    Me:  “You and the co-pilot count, sir.”
    Pilot:  “Oh.  Well I’ll be damned.”
  9. “I swear, I can make it under that bridge!  Ya dare me?!”
  10. *over the middle of Lake Huron*  “I think we forgot to get gas.”
  11. “You may want to strap in.  I’ve got some bad news.”
  12. Me:  “Sir, we just lost some baggage out the back.”
    Pilot:  “Were any of them mine?”
  13. “Where is that thingie that makes the wheels come out?”
  14. “Well sonofabitch!  Memphis looks JUST like Atlanta!”
  15. “Twenty bucks says I can barrel roll this bitch!”
  16. Pilot:  “You have the controls?”
    Co-pilot:  “No, I thought YOU had ’em!”
  17. “Anybody seen my glasses?  I can’t see a DAMN thing without my glasses.”
  18. “This landing is going to be slightly more rapid that we’re normally accustomed to.”
  19. “Paducha Tower, this is Nighthawk 1 requesting clearance to land on runway 2.”
    *long silence*
    “I’m very happy you got to see Elmo this morning, Dustin, but could you please give the microphone to your mommy?”
  20. “This is really gonna hurt!”

Happy flying, my peoples!!

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Favorite comment of the day (left by Tom on yesterdays post):

“OMG, I never thought I would laugh so hard about looking into someones asshole . . .”

Permanent link to this article: http://www.opticynicism.com/2011/07/top-20-tuesday-for-july-19th-2011-thats-not-funny-sir/

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