Aug 05 2011

My friends are the best . . . and sort of creepy

Friendship-Motivational-Poster

Yes!  I changed the blog theme yet again.  I’m actually much happier with this one than I was last night.  I think you will be too.  Except for Tom.  He’s a pain in the ass.  I was all excited about finding an acceptable theme, it’s dark like I wanted, has all the proper navigation I was looking for.  Not too shabby for the free version of WordPress.  It’s even pretty damned customizable as far as the free themes go, so I was pleased.  So I, of course, told my best buddy, Tom and I was all “Dude!  Total blog theme WIN!  I got this, Yo!”

and he was all, “ummmmmmmmmmm, eh”

“Oh, no!  Please tell me what I can do to make it even better still, Tom!”  I said.

or

“Awwwwwwwwww, fuck, you’re about to take a big steamy shit on my parade . . . ”

It was one of those.

Either way, his complaints were minor, a couple of them fixed and for one of them he was just being a jackass so I ignored him.  So anyway, Thanks, Buddy!

In other news, I made a post on Facebook today asking my friends and Opticynicism page followers to ask me some of their own questions in the same manner as the interview with myself that I did not too long ago.  I thought it would be even more fun to do it again with the questions directly from you, my friends and readers.  You know what I found out in this process?

You guys are fucking weird.

So here we go:

So what made you make the horribly wrong decision of being a jarhead instead of becoming a true American Soldier? 😉

I wanted a challenge . . . and I’d already been in the Boy Scouts.  And I’m not gay.  But seriously, it was because of my dad.  He kept telling me I should join the Navy like he did, so I joined the Marines just to be a dick.  Yeah, it’s funny, but it’s true.

How did my dad get your dad to let us hook up to your water supply … not only the FIRST time he dug up/broke the well water pump but the second time it happened, too. I think we connected with a really long waterhose. You may not remember but it is seared on my brain.

I don’t remember this very well but it seems like a remember that hose, and we were fairly young.  But there is a pretty safe bet that alcohol was exchanged.  And my dad probably talked shit about your dad for having done it.  Please accept my apology for his behavior.  Over the course of the entire 20+ years we lived there.

Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it actually turns on?

I don’t know about yours, but in my case that is because it means it is about to go “off” the damn wall.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Actually the lyrics are “Jimmy Crack corn and I don’t care”, so somebody cares, just not that particular dude.

If you could ask yourself one serious question, what would it be and what would the answer be?

Q:  What the hell were you thinking?
A:  There are so many things that this applies to.  Which one did you have in mind?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?

The water was cold.  Shrinkage.

Does your Mom read your blog?

I haven’t got an earful yet, so I’m gonna go with “No”.

Just how many gummy bears can you fit in your mouth at once?

One. And it’s ON A STICK!

What is your biggest regret that dosent have to do with women?

Dropping out of college, bar none.  After that, they’re all female related.

If you could pass one of your skills down to your son, which one would it be?

The ability to write instead of getting angry when the world is falling down around you.

If you could only eat 5 FOOD ITEMS for the rest of your life, what would they be?

Crab legs with drawn butter, of course
Rouladen (yeah, you don’t know what that is but it’s German and involves beef, gravy and bacon and is the main course of the God’s!)
Horseradish cheese
French Onion Soup from The Red Onion Cafe in Boone, NC
Meatball pizza from Venero’s in Clayton, NC

Which would happen first. Getting your dad to signup for facebook, or a man gets pregnant?

A man getting pregnant on a live video feed on Facebook and giving birth to Siamese Twins of different races would happen first.  Seriously, we don’t want him socially networking.  We’re trying to keep him contained.

For all the ladies out there who want the edge on all the others, what is the perfect date night for you?

A night in, lounging on the couch.  Good homemade food for dinner. Relaxation at its best.

If you were to be the best man in a wedding, could you be trusted to make the best man speech?

Absolutely, but you might wanna have everyone put their drinks down or there’s gonna be some serious champaign-out-the-nose action going on.  No f-bomb, I promise.  Probably.

Puppies or Kittens, and why?

I have no preference as they are both equally delicious.

What the hell really happened that one cold winter night of “Nick’s ass and Eric’s head”?

Those records have been sealed and properly secured in a secret government facility.  Or they are somewhere on Nick’s computer while he awaits the perfect moment to ambush me.  I have only this to say about partying with Nick:  If he invites you, go, without hesitation . . . but be very, very afraid.

That cat will never be the same.

. . .or this bear.

. . . or this turtle.

I told you, my friends are fuckin’ weird.

Wouldn’t have ’em any other way.

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Facebook post of the day:

 

Permanent link to this article: http://www.opticynicism.com/2011/08/my-friends-are-the-best-and-sort-of-creepy/

9 comments

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  1. I don’t even wanna know what your “puppies” are.

    • Yanx on August 5, 2011 at 8:48 pm
    • Reply

    Awwwwwww yeahhhhh boiiiiiiiiiii

    1. Welcome Yanx!! Everybody say Hi to the cat/bear/turtle fucker! . . . I’m sorry, I mean, Nick!

  2. Count on it.

    • Colin on August 6, 2011 at 9:03 pm
    • Reply

    We aren’t boy scouts!! lmao hater!!! I was trying to think of more questions but I got busy at the bar that night =/

    1. I find it interesting that you made sure to point out that you weren’t boy scouts. Being gay, on the other hand . . . you were cool with that.

      I always had a feeling.

      Waaaaaaaaait for it . . . . .

      #Ericforthewin

  3. I don’t think that’s a bear…….

    1. Same thing the bear said.

      1. Touche, touche.

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