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Sep 28 2014

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Random Sunday Leftovers – AKA: Pre-Work Brain Purge

flush shit

 

You folks are awesome.  No, seriously.  You are.  After last nights post I got retweets and favorites and new followers and the reader stats for the blog were actually pretty phenomenal when compared to other weekends.  Weekend stats tend to suck.  Weekday stats rule because you are all at work trying not to work, so that’s good stuff.

So here is the leftover random shit so I can start my week fresh.

Twitter Rocked this weekend (I know, it’s like an oxymoron, right?  Weekend Twitter Rocked.)

Eight new followers on Twitter in one day, and some really admirable and cool people at that.  Really, it was only seven because one of them was my son who I convinced to follow me on his Twitter account that he hardly uses anymore, so I could reach that momentous milestone of . . .

69followers

Sixty-Nine followers!!  Because I’m a pig like that, but I gotta say I’m pretty happy with it considering that just one month ago I had only ONE follower, couldn’t drive my car and had no job.  So things can change and get better and shit.  Also my son, who has inherited my sense of humor, was kind of proud to take the honor.

So there’s that. Also, I saw the funniest Tweet ever, anywhere, ever in all of Twitter life. Or at least today.

That shit was beautiful.

I also got schooled by several people on the Mexican Chocolate thing and I apparently need to give it a chance.

And one cool young woman offered me a lot of pussy for liking her Facebook page.

Wait, what did you think I meant?  You guys are pigs, Yo!  But I get it, we can’t stop letting Foxy Wine Pocket influence us.

We went full on grocery shopping today

If you think taking the kids to the store is hard, you should take me.  You’ll be begging for your kids before it’s over.

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Because I am way too easily amused.

I’m also way too eager to point out Liz’s shopping inconsistencies.

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I believe she referred to this as “having balance”.  I referred to it as the “greatest fucking idea ever as to what we should leave on the counter for The Boy Thursday night”.  That idea was shot down quickly when we both decided we didn’t want to have to go back out to Steak ‘n Shake on Thursday if we could help it.  The ingredients and the intended final meal has been decided on, however.  I’m keeping it a secret for now in case The Boy decides to stalk the blog thinking he’s gonna get a heads up ahead of time.

BACK OFF, BOY!  YOU’RE SCREWED!!

We’re also taking bets on how long it takes them to look into this . . .

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and this . . .

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and collectively chime,

“There’s NOTHING to eat!!”

My bet is on tomorrow.

I haven’t talked about the dog since last weekend

She’s still a dick.  I’d blame it on the fact that she ate a dick last weekend but she was a dick before that.  This is what you get from a dog that is afraid of the rain . . . when it has rained for 40 days and 40 nights and refuses to go outside to pee, and won’t pee inside so she holds it until her eyes start to bleed.  Also she hates to get her feet wet.

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So she may as well wipe ’em off on the couch.

"Dafuck you lookin' at?!"

“Dafuck you lookin’ at?!”

Now you know why I go to so much trouble to hide my address.  If we’re ever robbed, she’ll help carry our shit out.

Speaking of the weather

It’s still raining.  For those of you that are tired of the same old bland weather report on your phones (This is especially for you, @KateWhineHall, because I know how much you keep up with the weather on your phone – and not Spotify), I found the most entertaining weather app/widget ever.  Looking at the weather report will never be the same again.  Search the app store for you iOs users or Google Play for the droids for “Grumpy Weather”.  It’s free and you can all thank me later.  Here is the iTunes Link and here is the Google Play link.  Here is what the widget looks like on my Galaxy S3 Mini:

Screenshot_2014-09-28-21-22-17
And I TOTALLY found little round band aids just for you @qwertygirl!!  I did, really!  Go ahead and click the picture, you’ll see!

I don’t normally repeat stuff repeatedly (See what I did there?)

I know many of you have heard of St. Baldrick’s Foundation to cure childhood cancer.  Denise is in a competition with her friend to see which of them can get the most donations, so if you are so inclined to donate to this well known organization and cause, even if it’s only $5, please donate at this link https://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/733711/2015 and enter your name as “Denise’s Friend” so she gets credit for it.  She will appreciate it and you’ll be giving to a good cause as well.

 A little DMV update

My father magically appeared during the night as I slept and signed the form in the (other) proper place and then magically reappeared back in North Carolina . . . as if by magic and shit.  It’s Witchcraft I tells ya.

Some unlazy blog shit I did today

I’ve been trying to clean up that homepage a little bit and make it more functional and useful.  I added the “Blogger of the Week” area and am proud to have Foxy Wine Pocket as my very first Blogger of the Week.  Be sure to check her out if you haven’t already.

I also didn’t want you to have to see that same miserable selfie of me every time you went there, so I’ve decided to rotate that around a little bit and put up a pic taken a couple of years ago when I got to meet the great Colin Hay of Men at Work.

And sticking with that theme, I finally changed the playlist in the My Spotify feature, so if you’d be interested in hearing what Colin Hay has been up to lately, be sure to check that out.

Ok, I’m done

More fun stuff coming up this week, because I have plans, Yo!  We’re torturing The Boy on Thursday so we have that to look forward to and I’ve got some other cool shit in the works too.

I’ll say it again, you folks ROCK!

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Facebook Post of the Day from my good friend Matt, and this is totally NEVER going to work!!

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Permanent link to this article: http://www.opticynicism.com/2014/09/random-sunday-leftovers-aka-pre-work-brain-purge/

6 comments

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  1. Margot

    You are so happy! I’m glad for you, as long as it doesn’t affect your writing. 😉

    1. opticynicism

      That would never affect my writing, because there is always something waiting in the wings to ruin it.

      And the Twitter count has risen to 81 already.
      opticynicism recently posted…Random Sunday Leftovers – AKA: Pre-Work Brain PurgeMy Profile

      1. The Raving Pleb

        I was thinking what Margot said so I’ll just reply to this comment. I’m happy you are so happy! Keep it up, it’s inspiring me to be less miserable too 😉
        The Raving Pleb recently posted…Story Time: Any Other Mouth by Anneliese MackintoshMy Profile

        1. opticynicism

          Things are going well, yes! Glad you are inspired. Read some of that David Sedaris too!

  2. Kate Hall

    I think we have the same fridge, except yours is stocked way better than mine at the moment. I need to look for that weather app. It sounds freaking awesome!
    Kate Hall recently posted…The Day I Almost Got Arrested at PreschoolMy Profile

    1. opticynicism

      It’s stocked with way healthier stuff than I’m accustomed to, so it’s not out of the question that I feel the same sense of nothing to eat at times, but I’m learning. Grumpy weather might be a little more fun for you since it will vary from day to day. Down here it’s either raining or about to rain or “Please kill me” hot.

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