I don’t know what to do here. I want to get on the stage and make people laugh. I want to get things rolling. I HAVE to do this because I will not leave this as a regret.
I’m fucking exhausted.
I’m working . . .and working . . .and working . . . and it’s not something I should be complaining about. God knows, I’ve spent enough time unemployed and fighting for jobs that never come and living off of the kindness of others. I’m working and I should be glad.
But . . . it’s in the way of what I want to do and I don’t know how to weave it in to what is my “regular” everyday life.
I leave the house at 7:00 in the morning and most nights I get home between 6 and 7. By the time I shower and eat and finally sit down, it’s 8:30 and all I want to do is crash.
The question here is, who in the fuck decided that Wednesday is the only night of the week anyone will do Open Mic nights?
I expanded my search to comedy clubs throughout the state of Florida. It’s the same everywhere. The Improv in Orlando . . . every Wednesday night, at 8:00. Given that is an hour drive from my house, I couldn’t make it even on a good day.
When the weekend comes, I have the time and I can muster up the energy, but there is nowhere to go to take the stab.
Let me take that back. There are places to go that have open mic nights. They take open mics for musicians, poets and comics, with the majority of them ending up being musicians, and in front of crowds that tend to be drunken kids just looking for a cheap place to get wasted. (I Ubered people to a great many of these places and I wouldn’t stand in front of them trying to be funny if my life depended on it)
Having just started this job, I kinda have to go until I get some kind of shitty legs under me again, but it’s looking more and more like I’m going to have to take a day off here and there just to get some stage time in a real comedy setting. If it’s what I have to do, it’s what I have to do and I’m going to do it.
Damn if I don’t need your encouragement though. I’m tired and there are days I feel that shitty attitude come back. The shitty attitude that comes from spinning my wheels, working my ass off and living paycheck to paycheck and wondering what the fuck it’s all for. I keep going so I can eat chicken in the 50 various ways I know how to cook it and have a steak once every three months.
The life of a new comic always starts out slow, poor, broke. Ask any comic that has ever made it to the big stage selling out venues. The trick here is that I’ve been slow, poor and broke for YEARS and it kinda scares the shit out of me to be slower, poorer and broker than I am now. That, and most of those guys started in their late teens, early 20’s and the idea of sleeping in my car in my late 40’s makes my back hurt just thinking about it.
I am fully aware that my position in life is the result of really shitty life decisions with some mental defects thrown in for good measure.
I did not live up to my “potential” as they used to like to say. There is a whole book being written about that and I’m the author, but that’s for later.
So here’s the deal. I’m looking to my readers for some help. I have NOT lost the desire to make the Stand-Up happen. I have not lost the drive and I have not let go of the dream. Where I am stuck is where I always get stuck. I have a decent job, I’m not living on the street and I’m living clean and sober and I’m happy being that way.
I. Just. Have. No. Time.
Any decrease in my income is devastating. I have a home ONLY because I’ve been given one and thank God for Liz otherwise I don’t know where I’d be . . .
How the fuck do I make this happen?
All suggestions, I’m taking all of them. Help me out.
I’m looking into a life supplement that I’ve seen some good results from and it looks like it might be a great plan for me . . . problem is, it’s more expensive than I can handle right now, but I want to try it. It may be worth it in the end, but we’ll see. I’m going to take a stab at a month of it. (This is what I’m looking into.)
What am I looking at for the stage? I know some of you suggested that I make this my testing grounds, so I’ll throw a couple at you . . .
*So what made me decide to get into comedy in my late 40’s? Well, I been disappointing my father for years, so I’m perfectly capable of disappointing a whole room in 3 minutes.
*I’ve been searching for the perfect woman my whole life and I”m starting to think that a short, skinny, redheaded, jewish, vietnamese girls just doesn’t exist.
*I busted my ass in the rain in the parking lot of the convenience store the other day and laid there soaking wet laughing out loud at the irony of being paralyzed by slipping on the slick, wet paint of the handicapped parking spot.
*I’ve been married twice, and both times I said “until death do us part”. I stand before you single. You do the math.
.Thanks, my faithful people!