Please find me offensive, you’ll be doing me a favor

This post is going to be short and probably not-so-sweet.

As you well know by now, there are a handful of blogs that I check every single day.  I’ve mentioned them dozens of times and I have a great deal of respect for all of them.  Not the least of them has been TheBloggess.  Yesterday, she made a post, a short post, simply meant to be a silly little joke directed at a form-letter pitch she got from a sugar company asking her to write a limerick about their sugar.

Their first mistake was asking Jenny to write them a limerick, because she did and it rhymed and everything and it was totally inappropriate, which is what made it hilarious and made me love it.  It was a joke, that is all, but not everyone took it that way.  In fact, it raised quite a bit of a stir and many folks were horribly offended.  As of this writing, she had 336 comments on that post and some of them really attempted to ream her a new one, while many of her most adoring fans such as myself, defended her.

Let me just say this, Jenny doesn’t need any defending.  She’s GOT this!  She didn’t just “let it go” and stay away from it.  She acknowledged those who expressed offense and spoke to their concerns, even editing a comment to the end of the original post to do so.  She made 1 comment, a single one, addressing those who were offended.  She recognized the concerns that people had raised and withstood the anger that was directed at her for the post.

What she did NOT do was alter the original post, delete it or otherwise make it change to suit the needs of everyone.  She left it right where it was as she had originally written.  What she also did NOT do was apologize for having written it, nor do I believe that she should have.  She stood by what she wrote and presented it for what it was, satire and comic relief, and if you can’t deal with that then Jenny’s blog probably isn’t the material you’re looking for, because that is what she does!

Jenny reacted with poise and grace and didn’t succumb to firing back angrily.  She basically said “this is me, take it or leave it, but I’m happy with it” and this reaction only served to build my respect and admiration for her even more.

If you’re easily offended, neither this blog nor pretty much any blog you see listed in my sidebar are places you need to be hanging around, because at some point, one of us is going to do it and probably sooner rather than later.  The only possible exception to that is Greg over at Telling Dad; his blog is as clean as you can get and still post pics of his wife’s head in the toilet.  The man bought a fire truck for crying out loud!  Not a toy one, an actual fire truck, to share with neighborhood children!

This blog in particular is a release for me.  I let out my frustrations here and I tell you what I think and how I feel and you might not always agree with it, but for me it is my therapy.  I take stuff that sucks in my life and I make it funny to share with you.  I also take the amazing things that happen in my life and share those with you as well, because I can’t keep them to myself.  In either case, somebody, somewhere is going to get offended at some point.  It happens.

If you are offended and you need to get it off your chest and are so compelled to comment that you just can’t help yourself, let me give you a few guidelines:

  • If you post anonymously or give yourself a name like “Eric sucks donkey balls”, your rebuttal loses any inkling of respect it may have had.  If you’ve got something to say, be ready to stand behind it, proud of who you are; I did.
  • Tell me what you’re offended about.  Just “popping in” in to tell me I’m a dick doesn’t get you anywhere . . . and I already know, so it’s not really news either.
  • Threaten to tell EVERYONE to stay away from my blog because I’m a dick.  You’ll triple my readership in an hour, and I thank you.
  • Respond carefully.  Many of the regular people that read my blog share my sense of humor, and if you’re moved enough to start a fire, you’re going to feel outnumbered when the fire department shows up.  I’m just saying be prepared to stand your ground.
  • Consider that this is MY blog.  I don’t get paid to write it, you don’t pay me to keep writing, and unless you are ready to pay me a considerable amount of money to STOP writing it, I’m not going to.  The choice to be here is yours and I welcome any and all people to stop by and enjoy their time here and bring their friends with them.  If it isn’t fun or enjoyable for you anymore, then part ways.

On the other side of that, I will not edit or remove your comments.  I’m not deleting what I said, so I’m not going to delete what you said either.  Honest, sincere criticism is welcome and I will address your concern properly when I am addressed properly.

If you want to know how that is done, check out Sherry’s response (comment 185).  Sherry was hurt and offended by Jenny’s limerick, but the way she decided to approach it was nothing short of perfect.  She used her name, expressed her feelings and explained why she felt the way she did in a complete, firm and yet, non-confrontational way.  Sherry even made a post about it on her own blog, in which Jenny was kind enough to respond and comment in return, and even sent her an apparently quite meaningful private email.  From what I can tell, I think both of these ladies shook hands on this one and they may each have a new reader.

I know this, Jenny kept this reader, and Sherry earned me as a new one.  These girls have class and could teach everyone a few lessons in how to get along.


Facebook post of the day:

Ashley is in the direct path of the incoming Hurricane Irene. I’m glad to see she’s keepin’ it real!

21 thoughts on “Please find me offensive, you’ll be doing me a favor

  1. Hey, I love your humor and I wouldn’t expect you or anyone to change based on a few righteous detractors.

    That said, my favorite part about this post is the fact that you thought it was going to be a short one. It kept scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. Funny without even trying to be. 🙂 Rock on!!!!

  2. I just wanted to say that despite the private email I sent you, I do keep coming back. And I noticed that you followed me back on Twitter today. So… I think we’ve shaken/shook/wtf-ever hands?

    1. Please don’t be offended (funny I should say that, given this post) but I don’t recollect a private email from you, nor do I see one in my mailbox (which I never empty, since like 2006), so I’m not real sure what is up with that. I don’t recall any ill will being spoken, and to be honest, one of my other Twitter peeps “re-followed” me today because Twitter seems to be randomly unfollowing our people and it prompted me to check mine again. As it turned out, I had about 5 people I had to “re-follow” because of the same issue.

      So I would suppose, hands have been shook. lol

      1. Man, and here I was so impressed with us.

        The subject line was “My half-assed opinion,” I sent it on 2 August at 10:29am, and the first paragraph went so:

        “I’m writing privately instead of publicly because I know that my hang-ups shouldn’t necessarily change your behavior. So, with that out of the way… ”

        I kept coming back with one eye closed in a pre-flinch expecting to be taken to task, but I didn’t find any mention of the email nor did I find any more instances of the thing that stung. I did find myself laughing so I kept coming back. Which I shall continue to do. I dig the funny, really, so without the trigger popping back up I am quite happy to hang here.

        My closing, which I also say to my cousin about once a month: Take care (and thanks for your service in The Corps).

        1. With those specifics, I just checked again and I got nothing. I guess you never got a response because I never got the original. Only thing I can think is that you may have mistyped “opticynicism” in the email address and the only reason I accuse you of that is that I still do it every time I type the damn word. I get all keyboard dyslexic what with all the “c’s” and “y’s” and “i’s”. I should have thought a little harder before I came up with that name.

          At any rate, glad you’re still here and keep coming back!

      1. Oh the wonderful possibilities of MS Paint. Unfortunately (or fortunately, whatever, just pick one) that particular urge is gone for now, replaced by other urges that I will not go into detail about because I’d really hate to offend anyone.

  3. So, of course, I followed you from Greg’s Your readership just picked up by +1. I too think Jenny is in a league of her own. She is inspiring of what I wish I could be more of. To find my inner child, and be more .. furiouslyhappy, more often. Greg is pretty awesome too, which of course I found as the top link on Jenny’s blogs she loves. I stopped in once before on your site, but there wasn’t much on it to read that day. And funny how when we say “this will be short”, and it turns into a book.. and we go to write something in length, and it’s more “blink and you missed it”. I started a blog, but haven’t written anything other than my I am sadly lacking in imagination & material. One day, I may grow a brain.

    1. I’m glad you stopped back in even though you didn’t find much the first time. There are days none of us is feeling very imaginative and despite how hard we try, we just can’t come up with anything. I found that it’s when I stop trying that things drop themselves at my feet, so I’ve learned that rather than going and looking for material, the best stuff comes to me on its own and happens in even the smallest of ways. It’s a whole process that I’m still learning to just take everything that comes my way and try to slide it into a “is this bloggable” folder. I obviously have not mastered it yet, but it’s getting there. Sometimes the stuff you think is weak turns out to be the strongest stuff we do. This post is a great example because when I finished it I kind of thought it was just one of my rants and that was that, now here it is almost noon and it’s been one of my best “traffic” days since I started the blog. A lot of the posts I’ve made that I felt the worst about, ended up being favorites to the readers, so I’m learning to take my “inner critic” with a grain of salt.

      Also helps when you have appearances from the likes of Jenny and Greg in your comments. I have a tremendous amount of respect for both of them and to me it feels like a “celebrity encounter”, and I feel the same way when one of their readers comes to me as well so I am THRILLED you have come over. Please forgive me on the off-days and feel free to comment anytime.

      Get to work on that blog! I can see from your comment alone that it will be well written and from the heart, and that’s all you need.

  4. You can’t see everything all at once. I think I can see what’s funny pretty clearly, but my vision is not so good on what’s offensive–there I’m seeing probably around 20/200. Some people are the opposite–they can easily avoid being offensive, but can’t see funny for shit. And a lot of us are somewhere in the middle. Bottom line–it’s impossible to stop yourself from being offensive, because you can only see through your own eyes-you literally just DO NOT SEE what is potentially offensive until someone else explains it to you. But by then it’s too late. I recently made a Facebook post that me laugh out loud, and mortally offended my friend. I apologized, sincerely, and said I could never guarantee it won’t happen again–unless I turned into one of those quiet people that just observed and responded with hokey cliches. She wasn’t interested in the quiet, hokey, cliche option. Bottom line–you have to take people on balance. And if you’re the one with the big mouth, apologize sometimes.

    1. Sometimes it’s not even offense, but things just get taken in a way that was different than intended. I’ve made more than my share of FB posts where the comments just ended up going totally south. Sometimes funny, sometimes not. In the end what it all boils down to is that my friends are fucking weird, and that’s why they’re my friends. I’m glad my buddy Nick (Teh Yanx) stopped in up there to help me prove my point on that. 😉

  5. Geez, I didn’t even read all of the comments on that post. I thought it was really funny too. Oh well, can’t please everyone.
    BTW – I think you’re pretty darned funny too. LOVE the stuff you do about your dad.

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