Jul 27 2014

620 miles remain …. -ish

Start

Fri. July 25th, 7:08am, Penrose, Colorado

Current

Sat. July 26th, 7:15pm, Hattiesburg, Mississippi

And that’s where I stand on this cross-country adventure so far.  Over half of that was in Texsucks.

I stated last night that I was going to shoot for Mobile, Alabama today.

I didn’t make it.

 

 

Because, you know.

Dallas.

Intended to leave Dallas at 7:00ish but enjoyed the snooze a couple times.  Ended up leaving around 8:00.  Figured it wouldn’t be too bad being that it was Saturday and all.

Also, I am smarter than Google maps.

So, you see, I fixed their directions.  They have this nasty habit of taking an 1800 odd mile trip and cramming in little pieces of instructions that have you “turn left on x road and go 0.2 miles, then turn right on y road and go 0.6 miles, then merge right for 600 yards and continue on y road for 3.2 miles, then turn 80 degrees onto the frontage road for 0.4 miles, then finally turn onto the fucking highway you were looking for anyway and go 487 miles.”

I’m going across the country for cryin’ out loud.

Ain’t got time for all that “0.4” bullshit.  So I fixed it.

Fixed

See, all fixed. Step 1. Step 2.

Simple, right? Take the big friggin’ highway I was right next to, down to the other big friggin’ highway I was gonna be on for the next 6 hours. BaddaBing BaddaBang.

Except.

Big friggin’ highway #1 was under some major construction.  On Saturday.  At 8 am.

I got out of Dallas proper somewhere around 10:30.

Then I drove and drove until I saw the best thing I’d seen in two days.

Lewzee

FUCK you, Texass!!

At this point, I didn’t care what state it was. Could have been Nebraska for all I cared. As long as it wasn’t Texas anymore.

I escaped.  You may now wall it off and just let Mexico have it.

The rest of the trip was pretty stress free, although I have to say that I did not see one single cop from the time I left Colorado until I got to Louisiana.  Then all of a sudden, they were like flies on shit.

Then I got to Mississippi and no more cops again.

Apparently Louisiana is a little jumpy.

So here I am, reporting in from Hattiesburg, Mississippi on my last night in a hotel on this trip.  I’ll reach my final destination in Tampa tomorrow afternoon, come hell or high water.

Spent most of yesterday and today in hell, so I’m guessing Tampa’s got the high water.

I’m off to sleep in front of my 15″ TV from 1984 and hope the drug dealers outside don’t lean on my car and set off the alarm.

There was going to be no Xbox tonight.

There was going to be no Xbox tonight.

I’ll do a special post about the hotels after I’ve reached my destination and can relax a little bit. They have definitely been “special”.

Skipping the Facebook post of the day again . . . because my friends have been entirely not funny lately.  “D” and Ashley need to get their shit together.  *hint hint*

 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.opticynicism.com/2014/07/620-miles-remain-ish/

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