Bucket list of the damned

After yesterdays post, I found it a little difficult to find a proper segue from the serious back to the funny.  It wasn’t easy, but in the end I think it’s the way Mr. Williams would have gone with it.

So, given the recent look at mortality I’ve had to take, I thought I’d take a moment to share a few things I’ve got on my bucket list.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with what a bucket list is, it is a list of things that we want to accomplish before we die.  For those of you that are familiar, I apologize for insulting your intelligence.

So here goes.  Consider this kind of a fucked up “Top 20 Thursday” in no particular order:

  • I want to wear a shirt that just says “LIFE” . . . and stand on a street corner handing out lemons.
  • I want to see how many states I can register my car in before I have to trade it in.
  • I want to play an extremely fucked up criminal on an episode of Law & Order:  SVU.
  • I want to play an extremely fucked up cop on an episode of Law & Order:  SVU.
  • This:
  • I want to become suddenly very wealthy and open a very nice facility where alcoholics and addicts can go for help with whatever they need.  For free.  No payment required.  Ever.
  • I want to drive a Lamborghini to that facility, to show those I’m helping that it can be done.  And because I want a Lamborghini.  Every year.
  • I want The Bloggess to read my blog and say, “Damn, I wish I was THAT good”!
  • I want people to remember me as fondly as they do Robin Williams.  That I spread laughter and joy and friendship to all those around him and that it is always what I’ll be known for.

And my one wish.  My one dream, and you may think it’s sick and twisted and entirely deranged, but it is something I have always wanted to do:

I want to go on a tour of Auschwitz.  I want to go alone and I want to take my time to go all through it.  The only exception to my alone rule would be to go with my brother.  Because I will be emotional.  I will cry.  I will feel the pain that went through there.  But I want to know what my ancestors did to those Jews, so perhaps we can come up with a way to never allow it to happen again.

In fact, you can skip the whole list.  The Auschwitz one is not up for debate.

What’s on your list?

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