Ok people, I need some twats . . . and stuff



It’s my own fault, I know.  I took a 3 year hiatus and basically lost just about everyone I had following this blog and now I’m looking for a little help.

I’ve added some neat new shit.

I’ve got some cool Spotify stuff on here (Thanks Noa, for keeping me up all night trying to figure that shit out).

I’ve got a donation link (ok, so that is more cool for me than it is for you, but still) so you can express your love for me with cash.

I’ve listed the blog in a few different “blog listing” places, including one that made me put a link to them in my sidebar (assholes).

I’ve been keeping up with my Twitter account which my ONE FUCKING FOLLOWER is paying close attention to (help me out here, twatters!)

I’ll now be featuring an “Opticynicism Song of the Day” in my sidebar, also courtesy of Spotify.

All my old subscribers need to resubscribe and I’ve provided you with two different places to do that (Sorry Teri, I’m still waiting to figure out why you haven’t got the validation email yet), so please, RESUBSCRIBE and send others over to do the same.

I’ve got a link to my Zazzle store where you can buy the cool shit that I’ve been designing.  It’s a little thin right now but I’m adding new stuff all the time.

I even added a new page that describes how this blog came to be and why I write it.  It’s a little sad, so bring tissues.

There is now a page that lists my Top 20 posts of all time, and yeah, it includes the Craigslist stuff I did with Denise!

I’ve added CommentLuv, which means nothing to you folks that don’t have a blog, but for you bloggers out there, it’s a valuable tool to help get people to come to your blog, and I regularly post at some of my favorite other blogs out there that also use it to lead back to me.  And also because I like those blogs.  (Jenny and Noa)

If you want me to visit your blog and get included in my list of favorite blogs in my sidebar, please let me know and I’ll be happy to visit your blog and include you in my list.  You share me and I’ll share you . . . but then, that’s how this all works doesn’t it.

I’ve even ordered business cards from Vistaprint to start leaving in various places around Tampa, FL.  Just to be an annoying pain in the ass, because what is advertising if not an annoying pain in the ass.

To the readers that I do currently have, spread the word people!

  • email the link to your friends
  • share my facebook posts on your facebook walls
  • FUCKING “LIKE” my Facebook page!
  • Follow me on Twitter and pass that around as well
  • Tell your friends about it at work
  • Paint the goddamn link on the back window of your car (send pics if you do this!)

I can bring this back to life again and I’m doing all the things I know to do to do it (Well, ya know, the things that don’t cost 8 million dollars), but with your help I can build it back up again.

Thank you, my loyal friends!


. . . and I love Valium.  (Necessary side note, because I’m on it)

[EDIT:  Many thanks @KYouell who was a follower of the blog 3 years ago who has once again followed me on Twitter.  Her help back then was invaluable due to her impressive following and I look forward to having her back around again!!  I now have TWO followers!!]


No Facebook post of the day . . . because Denise is resting today.


10 thoughts on “Ok people, I need some twats . . . and stuff

  1. We can maybe make a trade for valium? If you had my job, you’d understand. Today, I found a comment on my chalk board about the outstanding qualities of my blow jobs. I was torn between tears and murder. But yeah. How do I subscribe? Quite frankly, that list was tl;dr.

  2. I feel I should note that not a single m-fer has any idea about the quality of my blowjobs, btw. Fuckin’ inmates.

  3. Also, you need to do something about the website “requirement.” I don’t have a website and if I did I wouldn’t really be compelled to share it.

    Apparently I’m Chatty Cathy tonight.

    1. The website field is not required. Only the name and email, and your email isn’t published.

      The website field is there for people that do have blogs and want to share their latest post at the end of their comment.

  4. I followed (again, dammit) on Twitter. Even though I have about 20 seconds to myself on any given day, I’m stoked you’re back so you can make me laugh. Love ya.

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