Aug 28 2014

Wednesday (The “jackshit” is now implied)

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It was another one of those days that not a goddamn thing happened that went the way it should.

Well, there was one thing and this shout out is special to me because I ran across her blog and she’s funny and brilliant and she had few Twitter followers and all of her posts were fantastic and NONE of them had any comments on them.  The whole thing made me said because she was so incredibly funny and bright and it reminded me of how my blog used to be.

You know, like a week ago.

So I’m beggin’ ya . . . all of you, my new blogger friends that I shouted out to yesterday too . . . go check out The Raving Pleb and give her a Twitter follow @RavingPleb.  You won’t be sorry, and neither will she.  Give her some love and some comments and let her know she’s getting some props.  She certainly deserves them.

Also, Kate . . . I friggin’ love you for all the favorites and retweets, you are great for my ego!  Also, HUGE congrats on the Huffington Post article!!

That’s about all the love I have to hand out today.  Yesterday’s love-fest exhausted me but I’m so glad it happened.  There are SO many great bloggers out there and the fact that they still accept me into the fold despite the fact that I seem to be the only male in the group just makes me happy.

Like I don’t need a Valium kinda happy.

I do still need a Valium, but you get what I mean.

The hunt for employment continues, unsuccessfully.

It really irritates me that everyone wants you to apply online anymore.  I mean, if you’re gonna reject me, have the balls to do it to my face.  Don’t reject me when you’ve not even MET me.

Worse yet, don’t reject me by not responding AT ALL.

Unless they’re just Googling my name, finding this blog and then going “Yeah, fuck this guy”.

But I refuse to stop doing the blog or putting my name on it, because it is who I am and I don’t hide behind some made up persona and I don’t bullshit anyone.  It’s me.  And if you really want to look at it in a way that will empower you a little bit more when you go in for an interview . . . they aren’t just trying to find out if you are right for their company . . . you’re also there to find out if their company is right for you, and if they aren’t going to take care of you, you sure as hell don’t want to have to take care of them.

And FUCK you if you don’t like me because apparently you wouldn’t know a quality, loyal employee if he had his head shoved up your ass.

I’d say it’s probably that attitude that has kept me from getting hired thus far, but then that would require that I actually have talked to anyone face to face yet.  Which I haven’t

It’s kind of like my situation with my doctors right now.  I have 3 of them and they are all consulting with each other, yet I sit here at the house and don’t know what is going on and have to call and beg for more drugs like a heroin addict on a street corner.  I’d kind of appreciate it if they stopped talking ABOUT me and started talking TO me.

So I sit, and apply for jobs online, and I wait, and I walk to the mailbox to look for my car title.

WHICH STILL HASN’T COME!

A good friend of mine today asked me “isn’t Valium highly addictive”?

That’s the rumor, yeah.  But I think it requires that it actually WORK to become addictive and since my genetic makeup has included some freakish tolerance to all benzodiazepines, it really doesn’t.  It would be the medical equivalent of being addicted to Tylenol.

Particularly since I can take 10mg of Valium and still feel like I wanna build a 4000 sq ft luxury home out of Legos.  The tiny Legos.

Clearly whoever did this was an amateur.

Clearly whoever did this was an amateur.

So I spent the better part of the day restoring Liz’s computer.  It was horribly infested with something and wouldn’t do jack shit (Ya know, kinda like the last 3 days of my life).  So several attempts to do a complete factory restore, I think the fifth one finally worked.

I hope it worked since I’m typing this post on it right now, and I did get the “Blue Screen of Death” experience on a few occasions during the process, but I think I finally found the problem and all has been well for the last 6 hours or so anyway.  I’m a self-taught computer nerd and doing this kind of thing helps to calm my nerves because I actually enjoy it, so we’ll call it therapy.

When she asks me tomorrow how I got it working again, I’m just gonna say “Witchcraft”.

The other highlight of my day was Foxy’s newest post about her nut bowl.  I laughed.  I cried.  It became a part of me.

I giggled like a school girl every time she said “nut bowl”.  That’s quality shit right there.  I needed that.

Finally, and this is the sadness part of my day, there’s this . . . .

That fucker sure looks lonely in there, doesn't it?

That fucker sure looks lonely in there, doesn’t it?

Yep, that is my one, last, lonely little Valium.

I can go spend 6 hours at the ER and get two more probably.  Which could get me a ticket because I still don’t have a goddamn valid license tag, so there’s the stress that fuels the anxiety that enables the depression that I need all the damn drugs for to begin with.

It’s a vicious circle of shitballs.

But I think it’ll be quicker just to go clean all the Legos out of WalMart.  Also, it’s closer and I’m less likely to get a ticket.

Hit that donation button in the sidebar because those little plastic fuckers ain’t cheap and my wit, charm and good looks only go so far.  Like nowhere kinda far.

Anybody else wanna come over and play with Legos?

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Facebook post of the day goes to my new friend Foxy!!  She kills me and I love it!

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I LOVE this woman!

 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.opticynicism.com/2014/08/wednesday-the-jackshit-is-now-implied/

6 comments

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    • Joe Robinsmith on August 28, 2014 at 12:44 am
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    Hey, long time no visit. My bad. Still funny. And I went and visited the young lady you mentioned. Left a long winded boring comment. You used to show up on my FB feed, then it disappeared. then today bam, back.
    Valium is overrated. Cipralex sucks even worse. Numb is not better than anxiety.

    1. Good to have you back, Joe! Yeah, I kinda took a 3 year hiatus but I think I’m back to stay. Keep reading, keep commenting and help me out and share those Facebook posts would ya? That seems to help me tremendously.

      And I have yet to find out what my “official drug” is going to be. The only person that seems to be in a hurry to figure that out is me.
      opticynicism recently posted…Wednesday (The “jackshit” is now implied)My Profile

    2. “Young lady”??? My, my… [Giggles and blushes]. Your comment was not boring AT ALL! It is about time someone started speaking up about the evils of Facebook… X

  1. It IS a vicious circle of shitballs. Hoping that part looks up. Along with the others. Keep blogging and tweeting. That’s good stuff. And thank you for the props. Nut bowls are my favorite. But not blowjobs. Clearly.
    Foxy Wine Pocket recently posted…Know Your NutsMy Profile

    1. Someday, when you least expect it, and you’ve given up completely, that nut bowl is gonna show up! Never lose hope.
      opticynicism recently posted…Wednesday (The “jackshit” is now implied)My Profile

  2. Oh my freaking God, you’re like a fucking angel but with curse words and prescription drugs. I love you! OH, ALSO, massive high five for having the guts to be all “I’m not taking my name off my blog, this is who I am.” I’m kinda the opposite, the thought of my current employers finding my blog and realising I’m completely bat-shit crazy puts the fear of God up my skirt! Sorry you had a crappy day with one poxy valium to see you through, I hope the Lego helped… X

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