I took a couple days off from writing. I probably needed the break.
More importantly, you probably needed the break.
So I did a whole bunch of nothing on Sunday and Monday we went to a new friends house for some Labor Day barbecuin’. Well, new friends to me – Liz has known them forever. Now we have a fridge full of leftover chicken, ribs, sausage, potato salad and some other stuff. I think we’re good in the food department for a few days.
Then there was today. It started kind of early, but I had ALL of my shit together to go to the DMV and (fingers crossed) get that much sought after 10 day tag. I carefully went through my stack of paperwork to make sure everything was in order and caught a ride over to the office.
Upon arriving, I immediately came to the conclusion that perhaps first thing in the morning, the day after a 3 day weekend probably wasn’t a good idea because it was clear that the entire State of Florida had DMV business to do today and this was clearly the only office in the State. I did make it through the line that you have to wait in so that you can get a place in the next line. I drew the number C202 on my ticket, and went to find a seat – apparently on the curb outside the front doors near an ashtray since there were no empty seats inside. It was here that I heard them call the next two numbers over the speaker.
“C327 to window 17, C328 to window 9”
I looked at my ticket again, sure as shit, C202. Wondering how, in the 30 seconds it took me to walk outside, I had missed being called by 125 people. I immediately went up to the nearest Sheriff’s officer with my ticket in hand and my best “What the Fuck” face on and asked him what the deal was. Fighting back a yawn, he casually said “Oh, it’ll roll back over when it gets to 349”.
You can imaging my joy and just finding out that I had not missed being called, I was simply the 223rd person in line at the moment. So I eventually sat down when I finally found a seat, because much like a mall parking lot at Christmas, I had to join the rest of the “stalkers” waiting for someone to get up. Looking back on it, I probably shouldn’t have shouted “DIBS!” when I saw someone get up.
Fortunately (for her at least) I had asked my ride just to go home and I’d text her when I got close to my turn, which at this point was looking like it was going to be somewhere around Thursday.
The numbers started to move pretty quickly, and within about 45 minutes the magical C349 rolled over and to my quite pleased surprise, it rolled over to C175.
No, it makes no sense whatsoever, but at this point I was in no position to complain. Until . . . .
Around C181, they stopped calling numbers. At all. Ever.
After about 10 minutes a woman finally came out of the back and screamed to get everyone’s attention. She then announced that for anything related to titles, registration or tags (in other words, ALL the shit I was there for) that the State computer system had crashed and that there was no estimate as to when it would be back up. It could be as long as two hours.
So close, yet so far away.
You could hear the collective “Just kill me” come up from the room, and more than a few said “Well then just fuck it, I’ll come back tomorrow” and left. Which would ultimately work out in my favor. I was also amused by the fact that there were three different poor, waiting souls in there wearing that “Let me drop everything and take care of YOUR problem” T-shirt. I could only think that it was DMV irony at its very best.
Because the computer system came back up in about 15 minutes and many of the people that were between 181 and 201 had left, so within about 15 minutes of the computers coming back to life, I was finally seated in front of the appropriate DMV representative to get some shit done! I laid my stack of papers in front of her and she went through it to make sure it was all there.
- New copy of Title
- Paperwork signed by me and my dad
- Copy of my dad’s drivers license
- Proof of Florida insurance
- My drivers license
- Original receipt from when I bought the car (Thank GOD because if I couldn’t prove I paid sales tax on the car, they were going to charge me for it again!)
- Urine sample (she didn’t think that was as funny as I did)
But it was all there. Everything I needed and things were going as planned. All that was left to do was bring the car in to them, because yeah, they have to have an officer physically go out to the car and make sure the VIN number matches all the paperwork, thus why I was there to get that coveted 10 day tag.
Well, I got it. And it was a THIRTY day tag! Super fucking joy!! So now I have 30 days to bring the car in and scrape up the 8 million dollars they need to get the whole title change process done, print the new title and then finally let me have an actual tag made with care by some inmate somewhere. But in the meantime, I CAN DRIVE!!
And I drove to my appointment at the VA hospital and made it on time for the 2:30 appointment. Then I drove and picked up Liz’s son from school. Then I drove to the grocery store. Then I drove to the fucking mailbox, because by God, I can drive without constantly scanning to see if there was a cop around me. Normally, with the expired tag on, I’d see 9 cops between here and the grocery store a mile away. Today I probably drove 100 miles and I didn’t see a single damn one. Go figure.
I’m going somewhere tomorrow too. I don’t know where, but I’m going. Because I can.
. . . .just a touch of blogger love before I roll outta here:
During the time off, I also ran across a couple more blogs that I felt were sidebar worthy, so let me give a quick introduction (in no particular order) to them as well.
Absolutely go check out Sarah (@est1975blog) and her hilarious blog Established 1975. Anybody that can title a post simply “fish barf” and still make me want to read it is definitely noteworthy. Scroll through the rest of her blog because you’ll love it all.
Also stop in and see @Lisa_Newlin at Lisa Newlin – Seriously? Her tagline says it all: “The rantings of a somewhat sane thirty something lovable disaster. Embarrassing myself so you don’t have to.” Just try real hard not to make yourself her next Tinder Tuesday victim. It’s hilarious as long as you’re not him. Don’t be him.
Facebook Post of the Day is going to Kate at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine which also comes with a story in and of itself:
Kate posted this on Twitter as well, and it went APESHIT CRAZY!! As a result, she also has a new playlist in the “My Spotify” page up in the menu bar, for all you 80’s teens to back on a nostalgic tour of your high school days. There are 66 songs in the playlist and EVERY one of them were somehow mangled with the word “Tweet” in Kate’s attempt to get her hashtag to trend. It didn’t trend and we were all disappointed, but go check out the playlist!