I’m kinda diggin’ this weekly update thing I’ve pressured myself into. It keeps me on my toes, keeps me motivated and *deep breath* continue to face down my fear of failing miserably.
You folks that have commented, both here and on my Facebook page . . . Goddamn, I love the support, encouragement and downright faith that I don’t even have in myself. You’re all awesome and if you could gather a couple hundred of your friends and plan a trip to Tampa to be my first audience, that’d be great.
I understand that my lack of faith and fear are issues I have to deal with within myself and they stem from a whole bucket load of garbage I have picked up over a whole lot of years. I understand it, I get it, and I know where it comes from . . . doesn’t make it any easier to get past at this point. This is what I want and this is what I believe in. I have years of being told that what I want and believe in is not important, unnecessary and “stupid”.
I’ll leave you to your intelligence to figure out where that came from.
Some of you may have noticed the title image to this post has two notebooks in it. Yes, they are my notebooks and I carry them with me wherever I go. You also probably noticed that one is titled “The Stage” and the other “The Book”. I have plans for both, and yes, I’ve said many times that I wanted to write a book but could never settle on an idea.
Well, I’ve finally settled on an idea and I’m excited about it. I’m not going to release the details as of yet, but it is not going to be comedic although it will have its funny moments here and there, and it is not going to be fiction. That is where I will leave that.
“The Stage” on the other hand is where I slap down ideas, thoughts, events or whatever that could work as good stand-up stage material.
Ok, so it’s not all good, but I write it all down anyway in case I can make it good later. It’s mostly just short phrases that remind me of where I was going with it. I do ok when I’m putting together the story in my head. I know where I want to go and how I want to create it to be funny . . . the problem lies in my shitty, late 40’s memory that allows me to remember all the words to “Don’t You Forget About Me” but also has me wandering WalMart for 45 minutes wondering what in the fuck I came in there for. I’ll let you take a peek . . .
You can click it and make it bigger. It’s mostly just a few ideas on the right and a little “goal oriented” encouragement on the left. My way of reminding myself that I can do this and I can do it well despite my own insecurities and fears.
The funny thing is, I’m starting to find myself getting less annoyed lately and searching for the humor in the things that annoy me The best example is when I recently came home from a long day at work and it was one of those Florida days that started hot, sunny, humid, bright and just . . .ugh, HOT. About 2 hours before I got home, it started to rain – one of those HOLY FUCKING CHRIST Florida rains where the water is coming in through the bottom of the car door as you drive down your own street. I stopped at the convenience store near my house and went in to grab a pack of smokes and get some gas. As I walked quickly toward the door through the rain, I walked across the brightly painted blue handicapped parking spot and slipped, even in my heavily soled work boots, nearly busting my ass and catching myself with my hand on the ground. It really hurt my wrist and given that it was the end of the day and I was tired, sweaty and now wet from the rain, for a brief moment I was really pissed. The anger turned to amusement and eventually right out laughter as I stood and shivered in the freezing cold air conditioner of the convenience store.
I could have fallen and broken my neck and become paralyzed . . . because of the paint in the handicapped parking spot!
Honestly, that’s some shit that Wawa (the convenience store) should look into as that’s pretty fucking dangerous and leaves them open to some seriously litigious stuff . . . but HOLY SHIT was that irony at its finest!
Probably wasn’t great and may very well never make it to the stage, but shit, it was funny at the time so it made the notebook to be assessed and maybe tested later, but that’s the process.
My immediate plans, immediate as in – the next week or so – is to go to open mic night at The Improv – Ybor next Wednesday. I’m not going to perform, but to observe. I’ll probably do this several times. I want to see what kind of crowd comes in. Get a feel for the room, the atmosphere and the general attitude of the crowd. I want to find out if they are typically young, middle aged, college poor or .com rich. I’m going to need to see it a few times to see if there is any consistency.
Being Ybor City, it could be anything. As my own son can attest after I dragged him through Ybor on a Friday night, Ybor City is a freakshow of epic proportions on the weekends. It’s a collection of college kids, gay and lesbian pride night virtually every weekend, the Jesus-freak-loudspeaker-toting-you’re-all-going-to-hell preachers on the corners as the drunks go by and throw obscenities at them. As an Uber driver, I once drove 4 “chicks with dicks” porn performers back to their hotel after their night on the Ybor strip. This place is INSANE on the weekend . . . but during the week, it’s a historical landmark with the old Cigar factories and Coffee factories and the Cuban restaurants (Columbia Restaurant is expensive, fancy and worth every fucking dime) and it attracts tourists from all over the world of all ages.
Given that information, Ybor City on a Wednesday night could be a tad unpredictable. I could end up being the old fuck trying to entertain a room full of millennials, in which case, I’m probably going to piss them all off. I could be the child of the 80’s entertaining the new money, middle aged dot commers which may put me very much into my element. I could be the middle aged comic trying to relate to the retirees visiting Florida to decide if they want to come here and drive slow and clog up I-275, in which case, I can probably make them laugh but I really don’t want them to stay and get comfortable.
What I’m saying is . . . anything can happen in Ybor City.
For you guys that wanna visit, check under the dress for the transmission. You might think you have an automatic, but there’s a very good chance you found a stick shift.
The day is coming, kids. I swear it is. I’m going in prepared, studied and ready for anything . . .but this is going to happen. Don’t be impatient. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and I’m going in prepared.
. . . and THANK YOU ALL for your love and encouragement!!