This Post is Offensive

Not because I want it to be offensive, but because it will be . . . to somebody, somewhere.

How do I know that?

Because EVERYTHING offends somebody.

I’d like to thank BarbaraM for inspiring this post.  She was the first (and at this point, the only) person to comment on my last post.’

Understand, I have nothing against Barbara or anything she said.  She simply brought up a point for me that is very potent.  How a single word can inspire offense, anger, disdain and downright outrage.  I’m glad she has taken an interest in my posts and in my endeavor to be a stand up comedian, and being one of the very, VERY few people to weigh in on my quest, I look forward to her input.

But her last comment inspired this post, and for that, I thank her, because it is a very important topic, particularly in our current political and apparently sensitive society.

At what point did we start to make everything everyone said about us as individuals?

The example Barbara brought up was the difference between “Handicapped” and “Disabled”.

Let’s break that down.

A golfer has a “handicap” . . . it’s a recognition of something they are unable to do or have a difficult time achieving.  If they were “disabled”, it would indicate that they couldn’t do it at all.

We don’t have to agree on that, it’s simple fact.

So, in defining a parking spot, should the disabled be given precedence over the handicapped?

In the end, they are simply words.

One person may need a cane, another may need a wheelchair, and yet one more may forget where they fuck they are once they are three steps from the car.  Are they all not handicapped in some way?  Does this not display a disability in all examples?

At what point did we become offended by a WORD?

I have a serious problem with this.  Not because I’m afraid I’ll offend someone, but because someone will be offended by what I say.


I’m just a dude that said a word.


I didn’t drive a truck through a crowd.  I didn’t open fire on a crowd of people.  I didn’t fly a plane into an American icon and change history forever.

I said a word.

I’ve said “retarded”, but I still have compassion for those that truly are.  It wasn’t ever a derogatory comment against anyone that falls into that category, it’s simply a descriptive term.

I’ve said “cunt” . . . with various intents.  Some in direct insult and a few others which shall not be discussed but let’s just say it was fun for all involved.

The point is, I have no idea where this current state of “Oh my, I’m so offended” came from.

At what point did we stop letting shit “roll off our back”?

We have become a generation of absolute PUSSIES.

I’ve learned something very important in my exploration of the comedy world.  I’ve found what works and what makes the biggest names.

Your anger.

Look at the big names:

Bill Burr:  Screams at everyone, jokes are misogynistic, foul fucking language and “cunt” is his favorite word, but learn his background and he’s a goddamn sweetheart.

Louis CK:  Hates his life and his divorce and pretty much everything that ever happened ever . . . and you laugh at it, because he makes it funny and look at his website and buy his series and this man is actually an incredibly sensitive genius.

The thing these dudes have in common is that they give ZERO shits that you are offended.  They’re over it.

And they are successful.

Because there is a large portion of us that GIVE ZERO SHITS that people get offended, and I do NOT apologize that I am taking the exact same stance.

I’ll sum it up like this . . .

Sorry, not sorry.

My intent is not to offend, but if you are, the problem is YOURS, not mine.

I’m here to bring humor to your life, as well as mine.  I grew up with bullshit and judgement.  It designed my sense of humor and helped me survive to where I am now.  I grew up under alcoholism and narcissism and nothing I ever did was right.  I grew up being told that if I didn’t wear a tie and work for the man, that I was a piece of shit.

I’m over that.  I grew past that.  I’m proud of who I am and who I became DESPITE the bullshit I was told.  I have my issues and I have accepted them and I use them to grow, even as I enter my 50’s.

My childhood and my upbringing SUCKED, but I’m not blaming you or me for it.  I’m going to use it to entertain you and anyone else that wants to listen.

I’m a child of an alcoholic narcissist.  I’m also a recovering alcoholic.

So, I’m telling you now, I’m going to offend you.  Maybe not today.  Maybe not a year from now.

But I will.

Understand this . . .

It is never personal.

It is just me.

At the end of the day, that is really all we look for in entertainment.

Things that are not what we are.

Or things that are EXACTLY like we are.


12 thoughts on “This Post is Offensive

  1. Well said!
    I once was explaining to someone that my husband was an “idiot” and that we use that as a term of endearment. She said that she doesn’t want that word used around her! I told her she better walk away then!


    1. Anyone offended by the word “idiot” is probably going to have a rough time just about anywhere they go, as in, they may pretty much not want to be in the same zip code as me when I’m driving because “idiot” is probably going to be the nicest thing coming out of my car window. I’m quite sure that had someone said that to me, my inner smartass would have presented itself in full force.

      “Oh, you don’t like idiot? I’m so sorry. Fucktard then.”

  2. Wasn’t meaning to piss you off – just wanted you to see that different people see things differently, depending on their position in life (as you well know). The reason my husband doesn’t like the word handicapped is that he see’s it as a negative, whereas disabled just means something to overcome (like a broken leg) – it has to do with his stroke induced dementia. You know and I know that you can’t please everybody.

    1. I’m not pissed off at you at all. You brought up a very fair point and I feel like it really needed to be said. What does annoy the hell out of me is that we have become the society that requires me to say it. i look forward to what you have to say and I hope you’ll continue to weigh in. This post wasn’t directed at you, it was simply inspired by what you said. I’ve actually spent a considerable amount of time thinking about what I can say, what I can’t say, what I should and shouldn’t say and I came to the conclusion that it was a whole lot of wasted energy to worry about it, because at the end of the day, everything I say will be offensive to someone, somewhere.

      1. Eric, you taught me what upstate New York hospitality is all about. It’s not about the touchy feely. It’s about the doing, talking it out, and getting there. It’s about the German pancakes and Armor All. It’s about being on time and being reliable. Day after day. It’s about being authentic and doing things that aren’t popular. It’s about loyalty to your friends. You taught me that. Thank you . . .

    1. Al Franken is hilarious, and no matter how hard he tries to keep the funny out . . . you can see on his face when he is holding it back, and that’s often funnier than if he let the joke fly to begin with.

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