The future of Opticynicism is in your hands . . . sort of


I’ve spent hours trying to come up with a layout for this blog that I’m happy with.

I’m kinda, sorta happy with this one but I’ve run across one problem.

The color scheme.

So I did what anyone else would do.  I made them all.

Unfortunately, they have not come up with a way for me to allow the reader to choose the scheme of his/her/its liking.  So here is what I’m gonna do. Read the rest . . .

Don’t hate the internet because of a few 100 million bad eggs

Creepy speedo guy with guns

Rightfully so, we spend a lot of time and caution teaching our kids to be careful on the internet, and a lot of parents don’t let their kids on it at all.  It is certainly filled with a metric shit-ton of horrible things we don’t want them to see or gain access to.  There are pedophiles and stalkers and burglars scouting places to rob homes.  That is on the more harsh end of the spectrum.  On the other end you have spammers and hackers and people that steal your credit card number.  The internet certainly has its creepy alleys in the red light district of the planet. Read the rest . . .

Fuck you Friday contest is on!!


Got together with my friend Tazer over there Twitterland and we brought down that gauntlet.  We’re both going to write a feature (that she was already doing) called Fuck You Friday . . . on Friday, ironically enough.

The challenge is, 1500 words by 3:00 pm EST or 12:00 pm PST . . . the post with the most “fucks” wins!

What do we win?  The respect and admiration of Kelley at Magneto Bold Too  . . . and me and Tazer get to share some readers! Read the rest . . .

This post has a picture of boobies in it!


Ok, so I changed the look of the blog again.  Don’t worry, someday I’ll settle on something I like and everything will be in the exact place I want it and be easy to find and it will be perfect.

Today is not that day.

Although I would be quite pleased with the look of the last theme combined with the functionality of this one.

Or something with boobies on it.  “Click the nipple to see my Top 10 posts!”  It would be filled with awesome and I would be the first person ever to be banned from WordPress.  Then I’d get a FOX news interview with the Go The Fuck To Sleep children’s book guy talking about how we just say out loud what we’re thinking.  We’d then be countered by some other guy accusing us  of racism or terrorism or getting in the Express Lane with more than 20 items and I’d be controversial.  People would surf the net looking for archived screenshots of my boobie blog and I would be famous! Read the rest . . .

It’s a wonder any of us lived


I watch my 16 year old, Tiger, head out to do his 16 year old things and it makes me think, “Damn, I hope he gets as lucky as I did and manages to live through the retarded years.”  People complain about the internet and video games and cell phones and all the conveniences our kids have now.  “All he does is sit in the house and play that damn game all day!” They say.

Enjoy it people.  You know where your kids are and what they are doing.  Yes, they are still retarded and probably doomed to stay that way, but at least they are contained.  We were less fortunate.  We actually had to leave the house to express our inner retard, and it was frequently life threatening.  I don’t know how any of us survived our teenage years, or our early 20’s for that matter. Read the rest . . .