Spank the Stigma!

Anti-abortion demonstrators hold signs during a Priests for Life protest outside the US Court of Appeals for the DC Circuit Court as the Court hears the oral arguments in the "Priests for Life v. US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS)" case in Washington, DC, on May 8, 2014. The case centers around the HHS mandate in the Affordable Care Act, known as Obamacare, that religious organizations must cover contraceptions and abortion as part of their health insurance benefits, even if that goes against the organization's religious beliefs. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB        (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

I know, I’ve got a lot of gall disappearing for weeks on end, then upon my (probably brief) return, I turn around and ask you all for a favor.

That’s what I’m doing, though.

Trust me, it’s a good cause, and probably a cause close to everyone’s heart.

So let me get to the matter at hand.  (That’ll be funny in a minute.)

Thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook, it came to my attention that there is particular set of the pro-life group that has decided that every single sperm, EVER is a life.  Or potential life.  Or something.  I’m so confused by the absurdity of the whole movement that I can’t see straight.

Of course, being who I am, the first thing that came to mind was Monty Python, because they had this idea first.

Then, like every jackass with an uninformed opinion, I shared the post on my Facebook page with the usual amount of sarcasm and self-righteousness.

Then I actually read the damn thing and discovered that the sarcasm and self-righteousness was well deserved.

Then I posted my own petition as a counter to the anti-spank campaign.

You may sign it here.

Then, while pondering the absolute absurdity of the entire idea, not to mention the ridiculously inaccurate medical information, I had to believe that 85,000 people could not possibly be this goddamn stupid.

Then I thought about who our presidential candidates are and concluded that 85,000 isn’t even a drop in the bucket . . . but I digress.

Thankfully, Snopes proved that the anti-spankers were indeed, non-existent.  I mean, there probably are people out there that believe that bullshit.  I’m sure Westboro Baptist Church has an opinion on the matter that is wrong.

At any rate, I still think my petition is a good idea.  Please give it some support and pass it around.  Who knows, maybe it will alert the attention of actual people that think this way and give us something else to make fun of.

Because the Trump and Hillary jokes are getting old already.

Join the movement and SPANK THE STIGMA!!

I’m pissed, and you should be too

im-going-to-speak-my-mind-because-i-have-nothing-to-lose-2

 

I just want to know at what point the not-as-stupid among us starts to actually stand up and collectively declare,

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK, PEOPLE?!?

Have we as a society completely lost our friggin’ minds?

Two young people, both just beginning their lives were murdered today.  Live, on the air as they were doing a newscast.  It’s unheard of.  It defies logic and any sense of decency any of us were ever taught.  My heart breaks for those two people.

Alison Parker and Adam Ward.  Let’s remember their names.

The murderer doesn’t even deserve to have a name, and I will not mention it.

Of course, his name doesn’t really matter anyway because our illustrious Commander in Chief wasted NO time whatsoever, blaming the fucking gun.

This jackass was angry and felt like he’d been done wrong and he was out for revenge and he wanted these people dead.

Not hurt, not disabled for life, not traumatized for life . . . he wanted them DEAD.

Perhaps if we had strict gun control and he had not been able to get a gun at all, he would have said to himself, “Aw, damn.  Oh well, nevermind then.  I’ll just go get some ice cream.”

Yeah, that’s how it would have gone down, I’m sure.

Because the Boston Marathon bombers wouldn’t have . . . wait, they didn’t have a gun.  They had a backpack and a pressure cooker.

Well, 9/11 never would have happened if . . . wait, they didn’t have guns either.  They killed 3000+ people with fucking box cutters.

This isn’t about gun control.  Not really.  I have my opinion on it and you have yours.  As far as I’m concerned, they should just hand out free guns to everyone and let the criminals roll the dice every time they decide they want to rob or kill someone.

That’s not wreckless, that’s natural selection.

Had someone (or more than one someone) in that movie theater in Denver had a concealed (or not concealed, whatever) gun on them, do you think 12 people would be dead and 70 injured?  No, I’m pretty sure the body count would have been much lower and his stupid ass would have been included in that number.

But no, the law abiding citizens followed the rules and didn’t bring a firearm into a movie theater.  That worked out well for them.

Now we get to clothe, feed and house the asshole for the next 12 lifetimes plus 3318 years.

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                                    Really?

Or until he gets shived.

Ok, so let’s drop the gun control part of it and follow the other all-too-common road we’ve been going down lately and throw down a race card.  Yeah, that one came up today too.  This dick thought he was a victim of racism.  He was also gay and thought he was discriminated against because of that too.

This stupid prick hit the political bullshit trifecta today.

I haven’t mentioned what race he was.  Mostly because I don’t care.  Psycho-jackass is color blind.

What really makes me upset is that it’s my generation that has raised them.

My no spanking, don’t hurt anybody’s feelings, don’t be offensive to anyone or anything, just keep your opinions to yourself, politically motherfucking correct generation.

Fuck that.  I’ve had enough.

Please, don’t spank your children.  It will traumatize them and turn them into violent criminals.

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Instead, give them a time-out and just say no and you’ll raise these fine, upstanding citizens.

While you’re at it, teach your daughters that their body is something that our sons can’t control themselves over (because they learned respect by staring into the corner), and therefore you girls should hide your bodies so as not to be a distraction.

Because that is so much easier than teaching your sons not to be dicks.

Just be careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Just let criminals commit their crimes so they will go away, but for the love of God don’t shoot them, especially if they are of a different race because that would hurt their feelings.

Amen, Brother!  Preach!
Amen, Brother! Preach!

This is what we’ve come to.

What is wrong with us that we’re allowing this to happen?  Are we really letting all this shit slide by?

Veterans are homeless, living in the streets, begging for food, waiting for benefits that never seem to come because of bureaucratic red tape . . . but goddamn, don’t let an illegal immigrant go without insurance and a drivers license.

37 million cheaters are uncovered on Ashley Madison, but for cryin’ out loud, don’t let gay people get married.

The Department of Homeland Security’s number one threat is . . . wait for it . . .

Veterans??

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Oh wait, my bad.  “Disgruntled Veterans”.  Hint:  The only veterans that aren’t disgruntled, are dead.

Also, if you support a third-party candidate you are also a threat, so no matter how much you agree with him, you are a terrorist if you vote for Deez Nuts.

Take a look at that list.  The way they have it laid out, every single American citizen that doesn’t hold a political office (and most of those count too) is a terrorist threat.

Don’t worry about that, though.

Let’s all stand up and get mad because some jackass made a Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume instead.

The real crime here is that the fucking thing is $65 on sale.
The real crime here is that the fucking thing is $65 on sale.

We’ll worry over this earth-shattering topic rather than “disgruntled” veterans that are “disgruntled” about the takeover of the US.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that what we joined the fucking military to prevent?

Maybe it’s just me that had that impression.

Of course, after this post, I’m definitely on their list if I wasn’t already because of my veteran status (the “disgruntled” is implied).  I’ve already mentioned illegal immigrants and I’ll just go ahead and say that I believe in the rights given to my by the Constitution and those two things are clearly no-no’s on the DHS list of shit you shouldn’t do.

I’ve got a right to say all this.  First Amendment and Freedom of Speech and all that shit, or did they slide that out from under us while we weren’t looking too.

No, they couldn’t have, because it was perfectly acceptable for people to take pictures of this detective who was beat nearly to death with his own gun because the environment has been created where he was afraid to shoot a man that was attacking him.  It was acceptable for people to do nothing to help this man while they berated him and posted pics of him on social media while they talked trash about him.

That’s Freedom of Speech, if I’m not mistaken.

Or did we just not say anything about it because we didn’t want to hurt their feelings?

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2016 is our chance to clean the bullshit out of our political offices and put this country back in the hands of the people it belongs to.

Us.

Don’t demand Hillary.  Don’t demand Donald.

Demand someone that actually represents  . . . Us.

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Pieces, some together, some scattered

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It’s been a bit since my last post and I wanted to give you guys and gals an update.  It’s got kind of serious around here lately and with good reason but I do want to start to move back toward the funny since that is kind of what I started this blog for.  To make the things that make me miserable, funny.  To ease the effect that they have on me.  To take away their strength.

This situation with the VA is a work in progress, and since that inquiry via writing my Congressman is currently active and ongoing, I won’t say too much about it except to say that the person that is representing my interests seems to be very enthusiastic, very concerned with my concerns and thus far, consistently been a man of his word.  I hope to be able to post some good news here about my employment future very soon.

Physically, I am whole and feeling well again.  The emotional healing will take a bit longer, but that is to be expected.  I have been communicating with my family, Denise and Liz on a regular basis and am thankful to have the support of so many people around me as well as at a distance.

I am putting the pieces back together and I’m mentally getting stronger in order to continue that fight.


On a lighter, yet still kinda shitty note, my car got into an accident yesterday.

Yes, I said that correctly.  My car did, I didn’t.

I was in the grocery store at the time.

I’m still not clear as to what actually happened, all I know is that the driver was not arrested for drunk driving.

He was a little, 79 year old man named Festus.

No, I’m not kidding.

In what I can only describe as a high speed attempt to turn two parking spaces into three, he managed to jam his big, white Mercedes in between two cars, scattering them and in the process damaging a grand total of 5 cars NOT counting his.

So to do the math for you . . . 6 car pile up – 1 occupied vehicle.

Ok, 2 occupied vehicles and that little girl got lucky as hell.

I’ll let ya see the carnage:

Click to make bigger.
Click to make bigger.

What you see there is obviously the displaced Mercedes (that’s Festus in the pink shirt).  The car to the left of the Mercedes got the worst of the impact and you can see my car (the red one) in front of that one as the brown car is now halfway into my parking space.

It wasn’t when I got there.

Now on the other side . . .

Click to make bigger.
Click to make bigger.

Clearly the other space was occupied as well, by the brown Impala owned by the gentleman in the scooter.  That car was shoved to the side and forward into the truck in front of it and the dark gray Scion on the other side of it.

I mentioned a lucky young girl . . . that would be the girl you see in the yellow shirt who owns the dark gray Scion.  She had just pulled in and was about to get out of the car.  Couple of seconds difference and she would have been standing between the cars.

But nobody was hurt and that is the important part.

Click to make bigger.
Click to make bigger.

Damage-wise, I didn’t come out too awful bad.  The nose is going to have to be replaced, one of the fog lights and the license plate bracket, but nothing mechanical was damaged.  The radiator is intact and nothing is leaking so I’m still drivable.

The brunt of the damage on my car went to my old buddy, Skully.  My skull license tag I had wired up so the eyes lit up.  I had to extricate him from inside the nose assembly.  He has most definitely taken his last ride.

The "remains", as it were.
The “remains”, as it were.

Now, I’ve spent a large portion of the day trying to get in touch with my Insurance claims person.  I figured I’m supposed to let my insurance company get in touch with Festus’ insurance company.  That’s what we pay them to do, right?  The entire thing should be a no-brainer, but if I’ve learned anything it’s that most “no-brainer” shit can be turned into a gigantic clusterfuck when the proper amount of stupid is added.

I did get some good news as to some things that are moving forward with the VA yesterday morning, so all in all, the best I can say for yesterday is that I’ve had better days, and I’ve had worse.  I’ll try to be better about keeping you all updated, but as I said earlier, I’m not going to say much about the Congressional Inquiry until that is over and done with so my news may be minimal until then.

I’m ok and getting better.  That’s about the best I can give you right now.  Still struggling, but getting stronger.  The mental repair is both the hardest and longest part of the process, but I’ll get there.

I thank all of you readers who have stuck by and commented and shown concern as well.  You are all amazing people and your comments have been read one and all, despite my not necessarily answering them.  Through you all, I find even more strength.

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Rest in peace, Skully.  You have shined in so many rear view mirrors and will be missed.
Rest in peace, Skully. You have shined in so many rear view mirrors and will be missed.

 

Debit and Credit for Idiots (or WalMart Cashiers)

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Once again I have allowed a long period of time between blog posts to elapse.  I really need to stop doing that, mostly because all you beautiful people stop checking for me to write something and you go away and never come back.

I definitely don’t want that.  I want more of you to come over here and read all my fabulous shit, but in order for that to happen, I need to write more fabulous shit.  I’m gonna have to buckle down and get to that.  I gotta show some discipline and dedication to my craft.

I gotta have Denise make me sit down and write some posts.

I gotta schedule the Xbox to shut off after a certain amount of time so I stop getting sucked into it.

Continue reading “Debit and Credit for Idiots (or WalMart Cashiers)”

Three rights do not a left make

I NEED this!!
I NEED this!!

Had a bit of a busy day yesterday.  Well, busy and kind of long.  Had several appointments at the VA and that pretty much shot the afternoon, but I’m not here to talk about my psychological issues today.

Or maybe I am, depends on how you look at it.

I’m going to talk about driving.

Because we all think we are the only one on the road that knows how to and therefore the reason God gave us a middle finger. Read the rest . . .

Adventures in Mohell 6

This may have been a better option.
This may have been a better option.

With things swinging back into relative blogging normalcy once again, I’ve promised on a couple of occasions to tell you of my hotel adventures on my drive from Colorado to Florida.

Let me start by telling you that I’m not what you’d call a “hotel snob”.  I’ve stayed in everything from a 5 star “kiss my ass” $600 a night room in South Beach Miami to a $25 a night joint that the people at the end of exit ramps begging for money are trying to stay in.

My requirements are few:

  • It should be clean
  • It should have a bed, with clean sheets
  • It should have a TV
  • I should have a shower
  • It should have towels

Read the rest . . .

Save me some time and combine the misery

This isn't too far off of my mindset right now.
This isn’t too far off of my mindset right now.

Now that things seem to be settling down a little bit, at least with the website at least, I’m gonna try to get back to the funneh.  So let me tell you a little bit about the experiences I’ve been going through since my arrival in Florida.

First things first, let me express my gratitude to my great friend Liz who has provided me with a roof over my head, food and invaluable assistance in making my way through the VA system.

A system which is neither efficient nor quick.  It also lacks any semblance of common fucking sense.  You see, I’m going through them to get my treatment for depression, my vision (or lack thereof) and some anxiety (both pre-existing and actually being caused by the system and the Florida DMV) and my otherwise general health. Read the rest . . .

Nope, this isn’t the Mother’s Day post I promised

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That will come tomorrow.  Because right now it is 11:30 in Colorado, so it’s still Saturday and it doesn’t count.  I don’t care that it’s 1:30 am in North Carolina.  I’m not there and you’re asleep, so neither do you.  But this is fun, so I wanna share it.

My friend and one of my saviors, Amy, posted this on Facebook today, and it was friggin’ hilarious. Read the rest . . .