This Post is Offensive

Not because I want it to be offensive, but because it will be . . . to somebody, somewhere.

How do I know that?

Because EVERYTHING offends somebody.

I’d like to thank BarbaraM for inspiring this post.  She was the first (and at this point, the only) person to comment on my last post.’

Understand, I have nothing against Barbara or anything she said.  She simply brought up a point for me that is very potent.  How a single word can inspire offense, anger, disdain and downright outrage.  I’m glad she has taken an interest in my posts and in my endeavor to be a stand up comedian, and being one of the very, VERY few people to weigh in on my quest, I look forward to her input.

But her last comment inspired this post, and for that, I thank her, because it is a very important topic, particularly in our current political and apparently sensitive society.

At what point did we start to make everything everyone said about us as individuals?

The example Barbara brought up was the difference between “Handicapped” and “Disabled”.

Let’s break that down.

A golfer has a “handicap” . . . it’s a recognition of something they are unable to do or have a difficult time achieving.  If they were “disabled”, it would indicate that they couldn’t do it at all.

We don’t have to agree on that, it’s simple fact.

So, in defining a parking spot, should the disabled be given precedence over the handicapped?

In the end, they are simply words.

One person may need a cane, another may need a wheelchair, and yet one more may forget where they fuck they are once they are three steps from the car.  Are they all not handicapped in some way?  Does this not display a disability in all examples?

At what point did we become offended by a WORD?

I have a serious problem with this.  Not because I’m afraid I’ll offend someone, but because someone will be offended by what I say.


I’m just a dude that said a word.


I didn’t drive a truck through a crowd.  I didn’t open fire on a crowd of people.  I didn’t fly a plane into an American icon and change history forever.

I said a word.

I’ve said “retarded”, but I still have compassion for those that truly are.  It wasn’t ever a derogatory comment against anyone that falls into that category, it’s simply a descriptive term.

I’ve said “cunt” . . . with various intents.  Some in direct insult and a few others which shall not be discussed but let’s just say it was fun for all involved.

The point is, I have no idea where this current state of “Oh my, I’m so offended” came from.

At what point did we stop letting shit “roll off our back”?

We have become a generation of absolute PUSSIES.

I’ve learned something very important in my exploration of the comedy world.  I’ve found what works and what makes the biggest names.

Your anger.

Look at the big names:

Bill Burr:  Screams at everyone, jokes are misogynistic, foul fucking language and “cunt” is his favorite word, but learn his background and he’s a goddamn sweetheart.

Louis CK:  Hates his life and his divorce and pretty much everything that ever happened ever . . . and you laugh at it, because he makes it funny and look at his website and buy his series and this man is actually an incredibly sensitive genius.

The thing these dudes have in common is that they give ZERO shits that you are offended.  They’re over it.

And they are successful.

Because there is a large portion of us that GIVE ZERO SHITS that people get offended, and I do NOT apologize that I am taking the exact same stance.

I’ll sum it up like this . . .

Sorry, not sorry.

My intent is not to offend, but if you are, the problem is YOURS, not mine.

I’m here to bring humor to your life, as well as mine.  I grew up with bullshit and judgement.  It designed my sense of humor and helped me survive to where I am now.  I grew up under alcoholism and narcissism and nothing I ever did was right.  I grew up being told that if I didn’t wear a tie and work for the man, that I was a piece of shit.

I’m over that.  I grew past that.  I’m proud of who I am and who I became DESPITE the bullshit I was told.  I have my issues and I have accepted them and I use them to grow, even as I enter my 50’s.

My childhood and my upbringing SUCKED, but I’m not blaming you or me for it.  I’m going to use it to entertain you and anyone else that wants to listen.

I’m a child of an alcoholic narcissist.  I’m also a recovering alcoholic.

So, I’m telling you now, I’m going to offend you.  Maybe not today.  Maybe not a year from now.

But I will.

Understand this . . .

It is never personal.

It is just me.

At the end of the day, that is really all we look for in entertainment.

Things that are not what we are.

Or things that are EXACTLY like we are.