Getting your Masters Degree in Emailing

I wish I could tell you how many times I’ve had this thought around my father.

I’ve wandered across a few different topics in the last couple of weeks and I think it’s time to go back to one that I’ve talked about before.  That’s right, kids!  It’s the return of  . . .

My father.

*collective groan*

If you need to catch up on the individual of which I speak, check out this and this and this.  The man is . . . special, what can I say.

Suddenly and without any warning, Father announced that he was getting rid of his DSL internet service and Direct TV and switching to cable for both.  It’s sudden because well, nobody knew he was even thinking about it because it was something that pretty much every member of the family suggested he do pretty much since . . . the beginning of time, but we didn’t know what we were talking about and it was nothing but a waste of money and they just rip you off, so we were summarily dismissed. Read the rest . . .

Top 20 Tuesday for July 5th, 2011: Craigslist Leftovers


Today was one of those days.  By the time I realized it was Tuesday and it was a Top 20 day, it was after lunch and I pretty much had nothing for an idea.  Then I had a great idea and started in on it and got halfway through it and decided it was complete garbage.  Well, not complete garbage, but it was gonna require more thought than I could put into it in a single afternoon so it’s been shipped into Draft Folder Purgatory for when I’m feeling slightly more witty.

On top of that, after the past few days of the Craigslist Personals Social Experiment and the success that it brought with it, I’m feeling a little pressure.  I’d hate to think that I peaked with Craigslist.  It’s enough to make one want to kick puppies.  So when I turned to my friends on my Facebook Opticynicism Fan Page and asked for some suggestions . . . nobody said anything.  The place was all like, crickets and tumbleweeds and shit.  Not a single one of the 10 people that like me suggested anything. Read the rest . . .

The People of Craigslist: and you thought the people of WalMart were bad

Given this pic, the hell with Craigslist!
Given this pic, the hell with Craigslist!

A post like yesterday’s obviously wouldn’t be complete without a follow-up, so in case you missed it, you may want to go back and check it out before you get into this one.

While my own attempt at the CPSE (Craigslist Personals Social Experiment) has thus far failed due to a seemingly random screening policy, my friend D’s attempt brought us more than we could have hoped for.  There was so much to work with, in fact, that I’ve had to strip it down to the top 10 responses in the interest of length. Read the rest . . .

Top Twenty Tuesday for June 28, 2011


In the years that I have been writing for the entertainment of other people, I have come up with some pretty damn funny “Top 20” lists, so I thought this would be a great place to share some of them.  They will cover a wide range of subjects and some will be slightly less ‘office friendly’ than others, but I guarantee they’ll always be fun.  Some will be old and some will be new but they’ll always be relevant to somebody.  Some I still have to get my hands on. . . like the one we did at my buddy Nick’s 2010 New Year’s party up in New York.  The “Top 20 Things You Never Want to Hear Your Mom Say to Your Friends” list still eludes me.  That night was both epic and embarrassing on way too many levels, but those are the times you never forget.  Pretty sure Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms won’t forget it either. Read the rest . . .